By Lurinda Vollmer
But I want to know…
Have you ever had a moment when you felt that someone didn’t understand or even see you?
Have you ever had a moment where you felt invalidated?
Have you ever felt like no matter how much justifying someone cannot see your perspective?
I’ll just put my hand up for all three.
I have always chosen to walk the walk first, I have had coach after coach and just felt like I wasn’t fully seen or understood. That I was trying to fit into someone else’s shoes.
I was told to reframe, practice gratefulness, just “feel it.”
Feel what though?
Then when I feel it -what do I do? Am I going to stay in this spiral of feeling shit forever?
→ Lead by example through your own journey.
→ Lead a client into the meeting part, holding the space for any expression or emotional release.
→ Lead a client back into safety when needed whilst also teaching our clients how to cultivate their own safety.
→ Lead them with integration because:
Before adding Shadow Work to my own business and life something always felt off. It’s because I forgot to listen to the parts of myself and to lead my own life with what feels right for me.
We are here to lead other people into their truth.
That’s why you should add shadow work to your coaching because the script, the 10 steps to “enlightenment” isn’t healing someone, it’s trying to fit them into a box.
I don’t want someone to be me – I want people to find themselves whichever version they are currently at and for them to continue to be more of themselves. Shadow work isn’t the end of the journey, it’s the steps to continue to live in alignment to who they are now.
Do they need to slow down? Do they need to stop playing small? Is it time to speak their truth? Is it time to look at the past wounds because they now know how to regulate?
We are the space holders for this work.
Adding this certification isn’t another tick. It’s where you meet yourself as the coach, the leader, the version of you now – so you can hold your clients throughout their journey,
Because you’ll meet your client in their wholeness, not just the parts that look good and seem to be doing okay. You’ll meet all of them and through meeting all of them – the transformation begins.
I don’t want my clients to be me – I want them to be them.
My romantic relationship.
MY friendships.
My parenting.
My business.
You know what happened?
My relationship went from instability (and I’m talking that real instability of like wtf are we doing?) to the most stable and secure relationship I’ve ever had. (I’ll share more on that soon because that was/is a wild story).
My friendships became true and transparent because I hold boundaries and give + receive more love. Let’s be real, sometimes I felt like friendships were harder than dating.
My parenting, as always, is a continual lesson but I can see my own projections and know when to respond or I don’t shame myself if I make a mistake.
My business has continued to flourish with love and opportunities.