By Lurinda Vollmer

Why I’m Writing This

Lurinda here!

I’ll be taking part in writing these blogs which is super exciting because there’s so much to share from the education of Shadow Alchemy, to celebrating our amazing students and bringing awareness to the pieces that need to be given a voice.

I was thinking “what do I want to speak about first?”

I thought I’d share a piece of me and how Shadow Alchemy came to be because sometimes it’s not about the “right time” but more “I’m sick of this shit.”

The Connection Call That Changed Everything

Let me paint the picture, it’s a hot Gold Coast day in Australia. I had just put my foster daughter in a mental health hospital so you could say I was pretty dysregulated plus I also forgot that I booked my connection call on the same day we had a scheduled power outage.

I jumped into my car, didn’t turn it on during the call because I didn’t have a lot of fuel so I’m a sweaty mess and then needed to charge my phone during the call because you know, power outage.

Caitlin jumps on the call, asks me a few questions and I burst into tears. Hot, sweaty, messy crying was what she met and instead of cringing away from it…She just met it. She allowed me to be. She knew I wanted to change my life.

I signed up on the spot.

To be met with compassion instead of judgement.

She didn’t just see the mess, she saw the potential.

The potential that every single individual has despite where they are at in the journey.

For me? I was in the dark depths then but it got much worse.

Shadow Work Met Me Where I Was

My immersion was around the same time I had to say goodbye to my foster daughter as she needed more help than I could provide and then I said goodbye to my Pop who passed away from cancer. From there, I was diagnosed with acute stress disorder because I had a severe case of disassociation.

Once again, I wasn’t met with “Maybe not do this certification until you get yourself sorted.” Although I know if I had asked to wait, it would have been met with love and understanding.

But I came into my immersion as the mess, as the one who you’d be unsure if I’d complete it.

You see, the immersion isn’t just an educational experience but an initiation. An invitation to meet your own shadows, to meet yourself in the dark depths and see yourself for where you’re at and where you can go.

I Let It All Out

Something cracked inside of me.

I sobbed, I screamed, I chucked a tantrum, I laughed, I loved and I felt supported.

I didn’t show up with only one part on show, I showed up authentically and at that time it was a mess.

I finished the immersion with a compliment from one of the other women: “You are like a phoenix“.

I will never, ever forget that.

The Moment I Stopped Waiting

Four days later, I got on a call with Caitlin who said “why are you waiting?”

At the time, I was a personal trainer and whilst I loved it, I wasn’t home.

I felt unfulfilled and like I hadn’t met my purpose yet.

I responded with “I don’t know.”

I got off that call and burnt my PT business to the ground.

Literally that day, I did an Instagram live announcing my Shadow Work business, I emailed my PT clients allowing them time to continue to phase out, and that weekend I sold out a women’s circle and my first round of 1:1 Clients.

I Took the Leap

Was it scary? Yes.

I lost PT clients, I lost the stability of what I’d known and I had literally built a home gym that same year.

I took a risk.

But the reward? I was home.

Since that moment of running shadow work processes, I was home.

What Has Happened Since

Writing that feels wild because I was the hot mess, I didn’t believe in myself and I truly believed I was broken.

This Is What Shadow Work Gave Me

This is the power of Shadow Work and choosing to embody the work we do.

You see, this Certification isn’t just about our clients but also about ourselves, as humans.

We get to become whoever we desire to be and we get to move however we wish because we learn to understand ourselves even more.

The more we know about ourselves, the more we can help our clients.

That’s the magic.

From Broken to Becoming

So, from the woman crying in her car believing she was broken to the woman who knows exactly who she is and doesn’t shy away from life….

Shadow Work and Shadow Alchemy changed my life. I just had to choose me.